you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
