just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
