doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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