She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
