It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
