"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it glows. i had to have it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
