it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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