I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
