tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
