I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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