we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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