I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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