Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
