halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
