the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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