I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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