things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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