she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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