I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
