the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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