loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
