Yo dont text me then not text me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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