ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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