yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
