I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
