i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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