Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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