Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
