first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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