I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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