Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
