That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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