He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
