we're blogging at a bar
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
