I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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