Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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