apparently the secret to your success is patron
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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