We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I could have mohawked her pubes.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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