She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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