I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
