in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
