i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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