singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish my penis had a tongue
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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