i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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