Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
