you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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