well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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