Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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