bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
