I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
