I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
